Tag Archive | Mind map

“I’m Fine”…….

Im-Fine

Last week I went back to my GP asking for help with a sudden onset of a severe depression. At the time, she suggested that I might need some time off work to recover and get myself back on track and, true to form, I said, “No, thanks, I’m sure I’ll be fine; it’s just a blip”.

That was a tad optimistic to say the least and over the week and weekend it became patently obvious that I wouldn’t be “fine” and having wrestled with both the disappointment and stark reality of my illness, this morning I was at the Drs surgery at 08.15am waving the white flag.

I am now off work for 2 weeks. There is no doubt that I need the time out and we spent a good 30 minutes going through my mind-mapping exercise so that I can plot my recovery properly. Anti-depressants only go part of the way to lifting mood long-term and therefore we identified a number of things that I need to do over the coming weeks and months to secure success.

My biggest challenge? To be kind to myself.  My GP recognises that this is the crux of many of my issues and that with the high standards that I expect of myself  I live with constant disappointment. I have to achieve. It is deeply ingrained in my core and unless I am achieving something, however small and insignificant, I am a failure. I can’t just do something and enjoy it, there has to be a purpose otherwise, what’s the point?  I know that I have to work very hard on turning this ethos upside down and hopefully persuade myself that I can do something purely for enjoyment.

Challenging this mindset is going to be difficult, it has been part of me for almost half a century and I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t collecting certificates, accolades, trophies, rosettes and badges for my efforts. I even have all the photos taken over the years to prove it but it is time to stop.

Depression the illness and the recovery is exhausting and I spent a few hours this afternoon asleep. When I woke up, the skies had cleared and the sun was out and whilst there is a stiff breeze, I went for a short walk around the village to get some fresh air and stretch my legs. I don’t want to spend the next 2 weeks in bed however tempting that may be at the moment so I am going to pump up the tyres on my bike and get cycling. That should help to clear the mind and gentle exercise will hopefully stimulate those endorphins to multiply exponentially!

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Magnolia, Garden of Remembrance, Lubenham

Pied Beauty-Gerard Manley-Hopkins

Glory be to God for dappled things —
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow;
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls; finches’ wings;
Landscape plotted and pieced — fold, fallow, and plough;
And áll trádes, their gear and tackle and trim.

All things counter, original, spare, strange;
Whatever is fickle, freckled (who knows how?)
With swift, slow; sweet, sour; adazzle, dim;
He fathers-forth whose beauty is past change:
Praise him.

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Mind-mapping for recovery

MapAs mentioned this morning, my one aim for today was to put together a Depression-Busting Plan to help me in my recovery. It helps to have a focus and although I need to make sure that I am not setting myself up to fail by setting my sights too high, I also understand that if I am to emerge from this debilitating fog I have to challenge myself and my lifestyle.

My GP asked me to think about changes I need to make for recovery and when I see her this week I may not have a definite plan in place but I have managed to put some thoughts down in my new Depression-Buster notebook.

I have been mind-mapping.

Following the holistic approach, I chose 6 areas of my life which need careful attention and wrote down all the ideas/thoughts which immediately came into my head. There are likely to be many more added later but on the basis that the most urgent ideas came to mind first I didn’t want to over burden myself with too much information.

The 6 topics I chose are;

Work

Exercise

Diet

Enjoyment

Sleep

Mental Health

Over the next few days I will be working on all of these issues alongside my GP and my support network so any ideas/tips/techniques that you use and you wish to share will be gratefully received 🙂

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