Tag Archive | mental illness recovery

The Return-Day 2

Your office-This way. Keep walking.

Your office-This way. Keep walking.

Yesterday was my first day back at work after 3 weeks away. I survived intact and was quietly chuffed with myself that I managed to get through the day unscathed with not a tear shed.

Today was Day 2 and not nearly as straight forward.

I think that I was a little tired after yesterdays efforts and it really hit me as we approached Birmingham station. I started to shake and felt quite nauseous and light-headed. I really didn’t want to go to work and convinced myself that as soon as we got to the station I would hop on the next train straight back home.

I walked up to the concourse, stood a while composing myself and eventually won the argument with my “other” half and decided that I would make it to the office if I could just manage to put one foot in front of the other. Autopilot switched on. Don’t think, just walk up the hill towards the cathedral and keep going.

I arrived at the office very shaky this time and was  holding it together until one of my colleagues asked me if I was ok. That was the trigger which sent me scuttling into the ladies toilet not wanting to make a fool of myself by sobbing in front of everyone.  Our office is quite new and I sat there for so long that the lights went off and I was sitting in the dark. Next came the cleaner knocking on the door and so I quickly gave up on the ladies and made a dash for Costa upstairs.

I sat in the canteen area with a cup of tea and then realised that no one knew where I was. I had disappeared rather rapidly, leaving my coat and handbag on my desk. Luckily, a colleague came past and I was able to ask him to tell my team where I was in case they were missing me.

With the help of a calm and very supportive Manager, it took  just over an hour for me to calm down and return to my desk.

Better late than never.

Tomorrow, I’m working from home.