It’s amazing what 5 days away from work and my 4-hours-a-day travel routine can do to my energy and stress levels. I haven’t had 5 days away from work since last August and having worked through Christmas and a very busy January, just 5 days away from the constant demands of deadlines and train timetables has paid dividends.
I feel rested and much more in control of my emotions. I am less short-tempered and more amenable. I can deal with change in a measured manner and I don’t feel that I’m “on the edge” and about to explode constantly. I carry much less tension in my neck and shoulders and my sleep is better.
I love my job, and I thrive on the energy and variety of work but I can’t help the way that my mind and body react to stress. As I have often said before, stress is not necessarily negative. Stress can often be positive and provides the necessary energy and creativity to get the job done both on time and done well.
If I had to describe to chronic fatigue syndrome in one word it would be “frustrating”. From the symptoms to the manner in which I have to mange this illness it is nothing short of frustrating. I still haven’t come to terms with my limitations but I am learning how to manage my illness much better. I know I have to rest more, to relax more and not to be too hard on myself when I don’t accomplish what I set out to achieve. It’s slow progress but it’s still progress.
Looking forward to the next 2-4 months I have a very busy and exciting schedule with lots of amazing things to look forward to. I am trying to keep a lid on my excitement as this wastes precious energy and whilst it’s “not the real me” as I usually wear my heart on my sleeve, it has to be the “new” me if I am to retain my equilibrium and improved mood.
When I was young I loved Aesop’s Fables and my favourite tale was about the race between the Hare & the Tortoise. Looking back, I think that the hare was afflicted by CFS as he had a spurt of energy to initially overtake the tortoise but had to take a nap halfway through the race as he had run out of energy. This allowed the slow and steady tortoise to take the victory. It’s classic CFS!
So the moral of my story is, train yourself to be a tortoise and leave the high-energy-sapping activities to someone else.