Tag Archive | kindness

I am blessed

I am truly lucky to have a small band of very loyal and thoughtful friends who seem to know the right time to appear to provide support and encouragement just when I need it, even when I don’t realise it.  It’s always nice when someone goes that extra mile to brighten the day and reinstall my faith in humanity.

This week has been a brilliant week for friends on many levels. Firstly, I discovered a fellow spirit and made a new friend on Tuesday when I met the lovely Katie. We sat and talked for quite a while over an early lunch and when I kept breaking into laughter, Katie would ask what was so amusing. What was so funny was that I could have been talking to myself. The same interests,a  similar outlook on life and shared experiences meant that I connected with this feisty, sensitive girl straight away. Even more spooky is the fact that we share a birthday. It was clearly meant to be.

Secondly, Sue came along and painted me a picture. A watercolour of my beloved orange poppies arrived through the post, beautifully framed and wrapped. Clearly a labour of love.  This is already a much treasured gift from someone I have known for a mere two months but whom I feel will be a friend for life. In the beginning I helped her realise that she isn’t on her own, and that some people really do understand. Now, the relationship has developed to such an extent that she is one of my few confidantes and being a “typical” Brummie, we get on like the proverbial house on fire. Thank you Sue.

Then, along comes the indomitable Colleen and announces that she has finally bagged her man! She is engaged to the wonderful Philip who loves her with every bone in his body. They deserve each other. They are a fantastic couple and deserve every ounce of happiness that life throws at them. For those who don’t know, Colleen has early onset Parkinson’s Disease but you would never know. She deals with this illness with immense dignity, humour and an amazing zest for life which leaves even the fittest of people breathless and exhausted. Go Colleen and I’m so looking forward to the epic party in April 2012. London Olympics? Your party will be the real place to be and the golden ticket to have next year! (Don’t forget to invite me!)

My cousin Julianne has continued to supply me with information and photos about my family which is so very welcome and is helping me to piece together the jigsaw that was my early life. This has made such a difference to me that I can’t thank her and her mum enough for spending the time in doing this. I am happier and more secure of my being as a result and it is not too dramatic to say that I feel a different person as a result of finding my family.

Nicolas continues to read my Blog and provide intelligent and sensitive comments on my posts. I truly appreciate this and again feel that although we have never met, we connect on many levels and in respect of various topics. In return, I love reading his weekly Blog which provides a quality of eloquent writing and deep understanding of his topic rarely seen in the professional arena, let alone in a Blog written as a hobby.

Judith has yet again come up trumps with her information on colour inhalation. As an alternative health practitioner she is able to tune in to my emotional state of mind without effort. She always provides simple and easy to follow alternative solutions to my agitated and confused persona and to me it all makes perfect sense. I now understand why I changed my Blog to “blue” and with a butterfly as my latest logo. Yes, I do wish to be calm and yes, I am ready for change.

So, along with Andrew, Caroline, Steve, Ian, Glen, Mand and Jenny may I take this opportunity to thank all my friends who make a difference.


Ditch your “inner Paxman”

Thank you Nicolas for pointing out on this morning’s post that it is just as important to be kind to yourself as it is to be nice to other people in their battles with mental health issues, whatever they may be. Once again, the airline safety advice from the Civil Aviation Authority springs to mind, ” Passengers should also be given instructions regarding the automatic appearance of the masks and be advised to don their own oxygen mask before assisting others.”  So it is with help and support. You need to make sure that you look after yourself too.

Like a lot of people I am my own worst critic and I challenge anyone to tell me anything I didn’t already know. Being kind to others comes naturally but saying “No” is alien and being kind to myself, accepting my foibles and anything less than top-notch is not part of my make-up. Humour however always helps and when someone described my self critic as my “Inner Paxman” I had to laugh. How many times have I watched Jeremy Paxman interrogate his victims, relentlessly pursuing an answer, raising his eybrows (on its own enough to make grown men weep) and saying “Oh come on” in that awful disbelieving and disparaging manner of his? I sit and squirm in my seat and think “I’m so glad that’s not me” but actually in the end I take over the Paxman mantle and challenge myself  to the same degree.  I recognise a lot of me in Jeremy Paxman albeit I channel all of this aggression and persistence against myself not others and  I have to admit, I put myself under pressure needlessly.

So, I have made a note to myself. Must be kinder to me and banish my “inner Paxman” to the wilderness.

I’ll let you know how I get on!

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Thompson Safety Video-Alice and friends

Please be “nice” to people

Many of us appreciate that living with someone who is feeling low, fed up, anxious or out of control can be difficult. Not so many however are able to work out the best way to help those who are struggling.  Our thinking and behaviour towards our friends and loved ones who are perhaps going through difficult times can become introverted instead of generous and all that matters is how we feel. In extreme cases the scenario develops into a power game as some find it is easier to protect themselves and their wants and needs rather than to think creatively in order to help and understand others.  Once this pattern of behaviour is established it’s hard to break but one of the best ways to help yourself cope and bring back some equilibrium and peace is to be more considerate and patient towards those clearly suffering. It doesn’t take much and it is amazing just how uplifting being nice to someone can be when rewarded with a smile, a hug or a simple thank you. In all probability, you will also find that by making someone’s life easier to bear by providing kindness and understanding that your world becomes warmer and brighter too.

The sun and the wind-Aesop

The North Wind boasted of great strength. The Sun argued that there was great power in gentleness.”We shall have a contest,” said the Sun.Far below, a man traveled a winding road. He was wearing a warm winter coat.”As a test of strength,” said the Sun, “Let us see which of us can take the coat off of that man.”

“It will be quite simple for me to force him to remove his coat,” bragged the Wind.The Wind blew so hard, the birds clung to the trees. The world was filled with dust and leaves. But the harder the wind blew down the road, the tighter the shivering man clung to his coat.

Then, the Sun came out from behind a cloud. Sun warmed the air and the frosty ground. The man on the road unbuttoned his coat.The sun grew slowly brighter and brighter.Soon the man felt so hot, he took off his coat and sat down in a shady spot.

“How did you do that?” said the Wind.

“It was easy,” said the Sun, “I lit the day. Through gentleness I got my way.”