Tag Archive | inspiration

Day one done

True to form, the New Year brought a number of New Year’s resolutions and so far so good! I managed to go the whole day without eating chocolate as well as keeping to other promises made to myself. My overriding objective in 2014 is to look after myself better. Physically and emotionally I intend to be in better shape during 2014 than I was in 2013 but I know that I will have to work at it.

(Talking of work, it’s back to the office tomorrow.)

Anyway, one day down, a lifetime to go!

motivation

Forecast-Warm and sunny

005

Summer-John Clare

Come we to the summer, to the summer we will come,
For the woods are full of bluebells and the hedges full of bloom,
And the crow is on the oak a-building of her nest,
And love is burning diamonds in my true lover’s breast;
She sits beneath the whitethorn a-plaiting of her hair,
And I will to my true lover with a fond request repair;
I will look upon her face, I will in her beauty rest,
And lay my aching weariness upon her lovely breast.

The clock-a-clay is creeping on the open bloom of May,
The merry bee is trampling the pinky threads all day,
And the chaffinch it is brooding on its grey mossy nest
In the whitethorn bush where I will lean upon my lover’s breast;
I’ll lean upon her breast and I’ll whisper in her ear
That I cannot get a wink o’sleep for thinking of my dear;
I hunger at my meat and I daily fade away
Like the hedge rose that is broken in the heat of the day.

It appears that for once the weather forecast is right…it really is warm and sunny and even anticipated to get warmer tomorrow. If I felt well in myself, I would suggest that we go away for the day but the thought of travelling, traffic and lots of people persuades me that I am much better at home, taking my time and keeping myself busy in between periods of fatigue. I am still shaky from the high-dose medication and I have difficulty in concentrating or focusing on a task for any length of time, but I am definitely improving.

It is lovely to feel the warmth of the sun at long last and let’s hope this weather is set fair for a long time to come.

Card-Wise old owl

Card-Wise old owl

Card- Life's a beach

Card- Life’s a beach

Planning with military precision

Sometimes with my depressive episodes I get to the stage when I can’t think anymore. I just need to “do”, follow orders, do what I’m told and follow a plan. Anyone who knows me well will be laughing at these sentiments but it’s true. Ideally I would like someone to tell me what to do and to organise my daily routine and for no other reason than this takes time and more importantly effort. I don’t have the energy to plan but that is exactly what I need to do to get myself back on track. I need to be doing things.

So, what will Saturday bring?

004

Camelia

Will and I have a long-standing hair-cut appointment which I am loathe to cancel for a number of reasons. I would prefer not to go, but when I list the pros and cons it looks like the benefits of having my hair cut outweigh the disadvantages and therefore on this scientific basis, I will keep my appointment. Normally, I would just up and go, but this protracted deliberation is symptomatic of my thought processes at the moment so that I am looking for any excuse not to go out of the house; to drive into town and park the car and talk to my hairdresser, however inane the topic of conversation. But, I know that I must make the effort and not succumb to the temptation to retreat into my shell and curl up under the duvet.

This is very easy to do. About 10 years ago I spent 6 weeks off work living in my bedroom. I brought the kettle and toaster upstairs and I lived off tea and toast. I slept on and off during the day which meant that I was able to do my shopping during the night (2-3am) at the 24-hour Tesco within walking distance of my house. I didn’t have to talk to anyone, and there was certainly no danger of seeing anyone that I knew-God forbid!

I knew the TV schedules off by heart and I can still remember some of the programmes broadcast during that sad period. I am determined not to go there again, hence the “to do” list. All my instincts are telling me to stay in, lie in bed and sleep. All my sensible, brave genes are telling me otherwise. I have to work at this and make an effort. I have to get out; talk to people and engage. It is the last thing I want to do. It makes me feel physically sick and I get tearful when confronted with this stark reality but there is no hiding from depression. You have to face it full on with determination and confidence that you will not be beaten.

Military Precision

Military Precision

“Everybody wants to be a cat..

because a cat’s the only cat, who knows where it’s at”  And who would argue with that? Not me for sure. I’m happy being a cat just now. A lucky black cat by all accounts and it seems that not only do I still have some of my 9 lives remaining but like all good cats, I’ve even managed to land on my feet. For the time being anyway.

This week for the umpteenth time I have escaped the clutches of the dreaded Redundancy Monster which has reared its very ugly and unwelcome head again and whilst I live to fight another day, some of my friends and colleagues are not so lucky. Times like these are unsettling for everyone and no one wants to see people worry not knowing what to expect. The uncertainty is painful and damaging to all concerned and I can only hope that those who eventually leave will go on to bigger and better things. The evidence from speaking to those who have already been through this process is that they will and instead of being a disaster, it is an opportunity to reflect and move on. Not one person has regretted the enforced change.

All this is easy to say when it’s not you that’s directly affected but I don’t take my job for granted and count myself very lucky to have the surety and stability for a little longer. I don’t know how many lives I have left but if the Monster returns to get me in the future I still want to be a cat. Independent, feisty and adaptable. Cats will stay loyal to the hand that feeds them whilst the going is good but are quite capable and content to find another provider should their munchies dry up.

Go cats!

 

Here we go again!

Portion control, planning, plenty of water and Pro-Points. It can only be WEIGHTWATCHERS!

The time has come to knuckle down and shift some of this excess blubber. It has to happen before it’s too late and becomes a permanent fixture into my dotage. I almost started my latest weight-loss journey yesterday, but an attack of the shakes travelling home on the train  (low blood sugar) scuppered my valiant attempt and desperately searching through my handbag I miraculously found a bar of Cadbury’s Dairy Milk!

Now I could have got away with that (I get 49 points a week to spend on misdemeanours) if I hadn’t then heard the news that Alex McCleish had been sacked by Aston Villa.  Celebration was a must and so we stopped off at the pub on the way home for a couple of “pints on Alex”!  More misdemeanours and points running short in supply.

This morning however, a friend of mine posted on Facebook that she has just lost 3 stones, and is starting out on ditching stone number 4. WOW! What an achievement and so inspirational just at the right time for me. Back on track and a successful day. I need lots more successful days.

Determination, discipline and dedication.

It must be WEIGHTWATCHERS.

More from Florence

Some of you already know Florence.
Some even have your own “Florence”.
But for those who haven’t;

This is Florence, my jam jar.
She is full of inspiration and
on rainy days when things are looking bleak
or I feel a bit down, or I need motivation
or just when I feel like it
I delve in and pick out one of the tickets
Upon which are written things like;
*
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens,
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”
*
“There is more to life than increasing its speed”
*
“In the hopes of reaching the moon
men fail to see the flowers
that blossom at their feet.”
*
“Always do what you are afraid to do.”
*
“Men’s best successes come after their disappointments.”
*
“Fortune favours the brave”
*

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm”
*
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined”
*
So on rainy days when things are looking bleak
or you feel a bit down, or you need motivation
or just when you feel like it
delve in and pick out one of the tickets

Florence, my jam jar

This is Florence, my jam jar.
She is full of inspiration and
on rainy days when things are looking bleak
or I feel a bit down, or I need motivation
or just when I feel like it
I delve in and pick out one of the tickets
Upon which are written things like;
*
“Depression is not a sign of weakness,
It is a sign that you’ve been trying too hard for too long”
*
Phone a friend today
*
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”
*
Tidy up and clear that clutter
*
“Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon”
*
“It’s not what you have in your life but
who you have in your life that counts”
*
“A friend is one who knows all about you
but likes you anyway”
*
“You can’t change the wind
you can however adjust your sails”
*
“Success is going from failure to failure without
a loss of enthusiasm”
*
“A friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself”
*
“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.
It’s learning to dance in the rain”
*
Massage your temples
*
I think everyone should have a jam jar so that
on rainy days when things are looking bleak
or you feel a bit down, or you need motivation
or just when you feel like it
you can delve in and pick out one of the tickets.