Tag Archive | ice skating

Do something you enjoy

I have always been very active, and I enjoy a number of varied physical activities such as golf, ice-skating, walking, cycling, gardening and when on holiday, sea fishing. These are all great things to do, especially if I am outside in the fresh air but they can also be exhausting on top of a heavy work and travel schedule during the week. It is only now that I have ground to a halt that I realise that I have been ignoring the need for rest and relaxation in my ongoing battle to remain mentally healthy and up beat.

Over the past 16 months I have been medication-free and it cannot be coincidence that much of this time was spent making things and not actively doing things. I love making things and it is a pastime that I have neglected over the past few months and maybe I need to resurrect my creative tendencies and focus more on sitting quietly being productive and not push myself to be out and about if this cycle of manic activity followed by periods of exhaustion is to be broken once and for all. This is something I need to consider seriously and in more detail so that I can come up with a sensible long-term plan.

In the meantime, when I woke up this morning I forced myself to get out of bed and get ready for my hair appointment so that there was no possibility of calling it off. I then found myself at a loose end and to take my mind off “stuff” I made a flower brooch. It isn’t much, but it’s a start and gave me great satisfaction when I pinned it on my cardigan.

Flower brooch

Flower brooch

If the cap fits (2)

My previous post outlined my responses to some of the traits which are common to Empaths. Here is the second part of that response as promised.

Love of nature and animals: Being outdoors in nature is a must for Empaths and pets are an essential part of their life.

My garden is my pride and joy.

I love being outdoors in open space and fresh air. I hate being cooped up all day and this particularly cold and drab winter has been very difficult to cope with on occasions. Golf is great for me as long as I keep it non-competitive. It combines the outdoors, mastery of new skills and gentle exercise. I only wish I had more time for golf.

I have always had pets and can’t imagine a house without them, even if it’s a hamster sleeping away in the corner all day and only coming to life when I’m off to bed! Our pets give us an immense amount of pleasure and they are totally spoiled. If I won the lottery, my first purchase would be a nice house, with a huge garden and paddocks for lots of animals.

 Need for solitude

An absolute necessity and this is the main reason I am unable to work long hours. I need time to myself every day and if I don’t get this time, my mental health deteriorates very quickly. The consequences can be devastating. Getting home late from work, eating, then going straight to bed, having to get up again at 5am the following morning is not sustainable as there is no “me” time built-in for recovery. Some people can do this day in day out and take their mental health for granted. Sadly I can’t and without doubt, my career progress has suffered greatly over the years as I am limited to the amount of working hours I can do. This is something that has caused me much upset in the past but I am now reconciled to under-performing and not reaching my potential despite my best efforts. As someone once told me, sometimes doing just enough has to be enough.

Gets bored or distracted easily if not stimulated

Oh yes! I have a very low boredom threshold and love learning new skills. I have many and varied interests and those who read my blog regularly will know that this year I decided I wanted to learn to ice-skate at the tender age of 50!

Caroline finally masters backwards lemons

Intolerance to narcissism

I have no time for these people.

Feeling others emotions and taking them on as your own

The killer blow and something I was not aware of until 3 years ago.

It was in May 2010 that I admitted publicly that I suffer with depression and have done for many many years.

Why did I start my Blog-Part 1

Why did I start my Blog-Part 2

Following my admission and for the next 6 months I was inundated with people wanting to talk to me about their experiences of depression and I was only too pleased to be able to help. The only problem was that it wasn’t helping me and I didn’t realise that I was unconsciously absorbing much of their distress and taking it on board. This affected my mood badly and in November 2010 I was advised to take time off work to redress the balance. I quickly learned that if I wanted to keep helping others with depression, I needed to become more remote and detached from their feelings and whilst I could offer practical suggestions and advice how to cope, I couldn’t fight their battles for them.

Good advice but difficult to do if your natural instinct is telling you otherwise.

There are a good many other indicators to Empath “status” but they will have to wait until another day.

In the meantime I would be very interested to hear your thoughts and comments. This is new but fascinating territory for me and any and all views are welcome 🙂

Happy Days!

Things that have made me happy today……..

My two beautiful boys, Tom and Will (which is which?)

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Ice-skating- I take my Level 3 test next week and need to perform “backwards “lemons” (AKA sculling, swizzles, or fishes). This is a skill I am finding it difficult to master but am definitely improving albeit slowly. There is hope!

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Sunshine-we haven’t had enough sun this year and doesn’t it make a difference when we get some blue sky and warmth instead of biting winds. When sunshine and picturesque countryside is combined with a bit of golf, who can complain?

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Red roses- even the cat loves them!

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…and to cap it all, the Grand National has finished and all the horses are safe and sound.

Thank goodness.

It’s snow joke

The weather forecast has been poor all week, but I was always hopeful that somehow we would escape the snow and ice coming our way and continue with our normal Saturday ice-skating lesson routine.

Alas it was not to be and as the snow gradually turned into a frenzied blizzard early this morning I turned the radio on just in time to hear the traffic report which also told me that the motorway junction we exit to fetch Will was closed due to an accident. Going cross-country didn’t seem such a good idea when the strong advice was not to travel unless necessary, so being the sensible soul I am, I resigned myself to no Will this weekend and no ice skating either and arranged to stay at home.

This hasn’t been such a bad thing though as it has meant I have enjoyed a lazy day which is a rare occurrence for me and one which I would normally rebel against. I like to be on the move, to do things. I don’t rest until my head hits the pillow and then only for an average of 4 hours sleep so for me to go back to bed and sleep until 11.30am this morning was a rare thing indeed.

With nothing to do outside, the garden is under 6″ of snow, the wind is bitter cold and the road treacherous, I have enjoyed sorting out my blog (note the change in format and colour) adding some new links and pictures and deleting the old ones which no longer work whilst listening to old ABBA CDs and watching Inspector Morse episodes! What an admission and bang goes any street cred I had left! But it’s not so bad….

They say a restless body can hide a peaceful soul 
A voyager and a settler, they both have a distant goal 
If I explore the heavens, or if I search inside 
Well, it really doesn’t matter as long as I can tell myself 
I’ve always tried

(Abba, Move On)

“The secret of a happy life is to know when to stop – and then go that bit further.”

“When I’m thinking, I get thirsty.”

(Inspector Morse)

Where do I start?

018The last few months have been hectic to say the least and the shortage of time and energy has  meant that I haven’t felt much like writing before collapsing in a heap snoring away merrily at the end of the day.

So what’s made life so hectic?…. in no particular order;

  • I started a new job in December
  • I turned 50 a few weeks ago
  • I have started ice-skating lessons
  • I am now the proud owner of a kindle
  • I have lost 2 stones in weight

and that’s just a few of the things going on day-to-day which have had more than a minor impact on my routine.

A few brave choices have meant that whilst in the short term I am busy and under quite a bit of stress, the mid and long-term benefits will be worth the effort.

My only concern amongst all this positivity is that I have a relapse due to a reaction to all this excess activity which has plagued me in the past. I am trying to eat sensibly, get enough sleep and not get too stressed about “stuff”.  My depression has a pattern which I discovered during a series of therapy sessions with my psychologist. We had been working for a long time on cause and effect and after looking at a number of possible triggers we found the answer. My most severe depressive episodes have arrived after a period of prolonged stress-either physical or mental-which suggests that a good proportion of my mental reaction to stress is physical. Chemicals have a lot to answer for and if they are not happy and balanced, neither am I! I guess this is why anti-depressants worked so well for me even though there were also underlying issues that I needed to deal with along the way.

Depression is so complex!

Anyway-suffice to say that I am feeling much much better and life is good again. I’m not taking anything for granted but neither am I being too negative…that’s easy to do.

As and when I get the chance I will write about my experiences in the hope that some will gain hope and assurance that life can and will get better if you stay strong and stay positive.

Sometimes however you have to be brave and take a chance to put things right. Follow your heart. Trust your instinct.

It worked for me.

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