Tag Archive | exhaustion

Making rainbows

Hand-sewn triangle quilt

Hand-sewn triangle quilt

I have a new quilt in progress, but this time I am sewing it by hand rather than use my sewing machine.

This has turned out to be a good idea as I can do bits and bobs during my daily commute to work on the train, and over the last few days when I have been confined to bed with a nasty sore throat and sinus infection, I have been able to pick it up for short intervals.

001

Coming together triangles and hexies

I am still experimenting with simple patterns and shapes before deciding which more detailed project to do next. As well as doing this quilt by hand, I also have my next machine-quilt material in the form of a Moda Jellyroll, ready to put together when I feel better.

This is PB&J by BasicGrey for Moda Fabrics and I can’t wait to get going on sewing the strips together.

PB&J by BasicGrey by

PB&J by BasicGrey by Moda

Crafting, including quilting, is a great hobby to have for anyone who is restricted in the level of activity they can do. Before my M.E/CFS diagnosis I would spend most of my free time forcing myself to be active; swimming, golf, heavy gardening anything physical that I could manage. I would wonder then why I ended up totally exhausted.

These days, I have different hobbies. Thankfully my 18 year old son now has his own circle of friends he can play sports with, leaving me to focus on more gentle interests. I do miss the activity.I hate being so restricted and having to turn down team-building social events after work because it means late nights. I hate having to weigh up the pros and cons of doing any activity before I make a decision but there are compensations.

My wonderful friend Colleen who has early-onset Parkinson’s Disease has a fantastic approach to dealing with her illness. For every activity she finds herself unable to do anymore as a result of the PD, she finds something else she can do. As a result she”fills the gaps” and learns lots of new skills as a result. Good on Colleen and I’m learning to adopt her approach.

Whilst my golf clubs are gathering dust in the garage and my garden is not as immaculate as I would like, I now have a new quilt on my bed, my niece’s wedding scrapbook part completed, a handmade card for any occasion and a material stash that anyone would be proud of. I love colour and apart from my garden in full bloom, nothing provides such vivid and varied colour like a craft stash!

It’s like living with a rainbow everyday.

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Payback

christmas_2_cfs_chronic_fatigue_syndrome_card-rda17609b3c8444acb78573d11815bdbb_xvuak_8byvr_324I have had a mixed week of fortunes; It started off last weekend with feeling under-the-weather and spending most of my time resting. Sadly, I felt no better by Monday morning and had also developed a very sore and painful throat so I felt that the sensible thing to do would be to take 1 day off work to recover.

Tuesday I felt much, much better and trotted off to work as normal. I was fine all day and came home in a better frame of mind. Positive that I had done the right thing and headed off the germs before they really took hold.

Wednesday however I had a relapse and started to lose my voice. This was worrying as I was due to speak at the Disability Confident conference in Birmingham on Thursday, a huge privilege and something that my colleague Richard and I had been preparing for all week. I really didn’t want to miss this opportunity and let Richard down so I came home after work, had a whisky, lemon and honey hot toddy and went straight to bed knowing that I had to get up at 04.30am on Thursday.

After a great night’s sleep, I felt better and although my voice was still a little gruff it was intact so off I went ready to speak. With the help of some anaesthetic throat spray, I gave my speech at the conference and then spent lunchtime networking with the attendees. I had a few coughing fits which stopped me in my tracks for short periods but I was definitely on a high and thoroughly enjoying myself. I should have known that like “bad” stress, “good” stress can also lay me low and I need to control my energy and emotions better. “Emotional shocks” or new/novel situations when I am out of routine are all big triggers for me and I came home like a demented Tigger. It took me a while to calm down before I collapsed into bed.

During the night however I started to cough badly and was sick several times. This carried on into the morning so that whilst initially I felt able to work from home, it soon became clear that this was not an option. I had no choice but to take another day off work. You can’t focus on work whilst coughing continuously and being sick but I still felt anxious and guilty about staying away. This is the problem about being poorly. I really don’t like it. No one does but after such a great day yesterday it frustrates me that I can be laid so low so quickly. Maybe I was fighting off the worst of the symptoms earlier in the week with excitement and adrenalin and once the event was over, my body relented and the bugs took over in force. I am hoping that this is the case, as it is far preferable than thinking that yesterday directly caused the relapse.

Today has definitely been a “duvet” day. In bed, drinking tea and eating toast supplied by my attentive hubby and sleeping away a good part of the day away. I have done a little writing which has kept me occupied during the periods I was awake but I still have no voice. Hubby knows I have no voice but still keeps asking me questions. Old habits die hard but we are getting quite competent at our own version of sign language. It takes a lot to stop me talking as most people will attest to so this must be some kind of super bug. to lay me so low so quickly.

So, another weekend of rest and recuperation to “look forward” to 😦

It’s very frustrating but let’s hope that this is just a difficult period and that when recovered I will have a prolonged spell of being well.

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