Tag Archive | Blog

Fighting battles

I am naturally someone who wants to help others. I can’t help it , it’s my nature. I am a frustrated medic in that I am sooooo squeamish I couldn’t possibly entertain a career as a surgeon, nurse, or even as I tried, a physiotherapist. I hate to see people hurting whether it be physically or mentally; it kills me.

I kind of kept this under control and under wraps until 3 years ago when I “came out” about my depression. Following my admission I received hundreds (yes, hundreds) of emails, phone messages, texts, facebook contacts, wanting to share their experiences with me. This was/is fine but as I have come to realise, I need to take an aloof approach and not try to fight other people’s battles for them. This was probably the most important lesson I learned but it was and remains hard to do.

The causes of my depression are many and varied and are not something I want to repeat here. Despite these debilitating episodes, my basic personality is one of high moral standing (not good for humanity!) and outspokenness (not good for me!). I have learned to curb both these traits so that I am much more tolerant of errant behaviour and those who don’t meet my expectations of them but today I broke my own golden rule and intervened in someone else’s “difference of opinion” with A N Other.

Part of me was wary, no, unwilling to interfere but in the end I felt I had something to say and I needed to say it. I just hope that the person on whose behalf I intervened appreciates that I did it with my best intentions and with much aforethought. Blogging is a forum in which many people find their tribe, their community of like-minded people who are interested and supportive in that particular topic or subject matter. No one has to join in if they don’t feel comfortable and even if they feel strongly enough to criticise, there is also no need to continue the vitriol in some kind of personal vendetta. Just go away and do your own thing sweetheart and leave the rest of us in peace to follow our instincts and develop our own relationships with fellow Bloggers.

Blogging is not a substitute for “real” relationships but everyone has their own reasons for wanting or needing to Blog at a particular time in their lives. For me, even now, today, depression can be very debilitating so that speaking to someone face-to-face or on the phone can be distressing. Not many people at work would see me as a person who dreads the phone ringing, but that’s the reality. I’m just very good at hiding it.

I am lucky that my friends understand this and whilst I may not see them or speak to them personally for years, it doesn’t mean that I don’t care or I am not thinking of them in times of trouble. It’s how I am. I don’t like it and I try my hardest to fight against it and it doesn’t always work but I have learned to be kind to myself.

So, to you “Anon” I say this. Go away and resolve your own issues by tapping into your own resources and friends and leaving the rest of us to commune and support each other without prejudice and attitude in an environment where preconceptions and judgmental attitudes are alien and positivity and genuine concern prevail.

Rant over.

For today.

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9000 and counting….

Even with a bit of a break over the summer, I am amazed to notice that more that 9,000 views are registered against my posts since the Blog’s inception last November. The competitor in me hopes that I will make the 10,000 mark by the end of October as it seems a nice round number but honestly, something I never in my wildest dreams expected was such a loyal readership when I started on my journey.

I know that some people get millions of hits (Strictly Come Dancing and X Factor stats) for their blog posts but I am so grateful and proud of everyone who has taken time to read my efforts. It is very humbling and I only hope that in some small way I can help others open up and talk about their depression without fear of stigma and discrimination. The latest stats about mental illness is that 1 in 4 of us will suffer during our lifetime.

The World Health Organisation (WHO) predicts that in the next 20 years depression will become the most common cause of ill-health worldwide, overtaking heart disease. We need to be able to recognise symptoms early to improve the speed and chance of recovery and we can only do this if we raise awareness by talking about it.

I’m doing my bit 🙂

Talk, text or other?

Now then. What an interesting topic for an oft-depressed people-person blogger. Normally I would say that face-to-face communication, conversation and discussion is a must. This is when I’m feeling confident, strong and happy with myself and life. It’s a very different story however when depression strikes and confidence is low and all you want to do is crawl back under the duvet.

At which point it is all I can do to communicate by text or email, but it is far more comfortable than talking to someone. What’s that all about?

Perhaps that is why I love Facebook and Blogging so much. I can do it in my own time, with whom I choose to interact and I don’t even have to venture outside my front door. I am in total control. Some may consider this a dangerous sign of withdrawing from society and self-indulgence. I like to think of it as a well-deserved respite from the mad, bad, crazy, busy world I inhabit.

So who will deny me my pleasures of text, email and blogging? Shall we talk about it?

I’m Posting every day in 2011!

I’ve decided I want to blog more. Rather than just thinking about doing it, I’m starting right now.  I will be posting on this blog once a day for all of 2011. I am hoping to continue Blogging during my holidays in Iran as there is plenty of interesting and mind-boggling material there.

I know it won’t be easy, but it might be fun, inspiring, awesome and wonderful. Therefore I’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similiar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.

Caroline