I really should have given up reading the newspapers for 2011. I’m much happier with just not knowing. But as an information junkie who reads at least 2 newspapers every day that would be a step too far. So when hubby brings in today’s Daily Mail I can’t resist a peek, and a quick skim through brings me to an article which scares me to my bones and causes an immediate rise in blood pressure. A sure sign of stress.  The offending article is on pages 58 & 59 and is called “Little slips (and big pants) that show you’re getting old”. From the title (especially reference to big pants) I should have known not to continue reading but I did and here’s what ruined my day. I hope my sister reads this because she’s in this tribe too.

You know you’re getting old when;

You are jumping up and down as the postman arrives shouting “Oh fantastic. My Lakeland order has arrived”.  My brother-in-law constantly ridicules “Crapland” and it’s attraction for the Harlow sisters but unfortunately our relationship with this company was sealed by our mother a long time back-God Bless her. When she died I seem to recall that we were ready to do battle over the mini-blender, lemon zester and julienne peeler! Sod the cash in the bank-it was the over-door hangers that I wanted.

Other signs that indicate for sure that you are on the downward slope include wearing big pants (not thongs), taking your slippers and umbrella everywhere (not a problem for me) BUT packing a first aid kit whenever you set foot out of the door.  Now that I can relate to and as recently as last week on our annual village walk the first thing I packed, after the chocolate of course, was the First Aid Kit! and it gets worse.

“That man shouldn’t be on the road!”- heard in our house just this week when hubby manages to collect a speeding ticket.

“I can’t believe it when I look in the mirror”- I’d better believe it and soon if I’m going to stop the rot.

“I don’t want to go anywhere with nightlife” In which case I’ve always been old and finally;

“I wonder what the weather will be like today?”..my first task as I get out of bed in the morning is to open the curtain to see what today’s weather will bring and whether I need my thermal vest and sensible shoes.

Oh dear. I’m turning into my mother. Now I’m not just stressed, I’m depressed!