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Nature

“You can never get your fill of nature, Samuel.

To be surrounded by it is to be stilled. It salves the heart.

The mountains, the trees, the endless plains.

The moon, the myriad of stars.

Every man can be made quiet and complete.

Even the lowliest misanthrope or the wretchedest sinners.”

(Arthur Burns from The Proposition)

Fighting negativity


negativity

Fighting negativity takes a lot of hard work, discipline and energy. I don’t want to be negative and I chastise people who are. I talk them through the reasons why they feel that way, challenge them to find the evidence to prove their opinion is well-founded and try to motivate and encourage them to think differently.

So why can’t I follow my own advice and lead by example? Who knows but it must have something to do with a low self esteem coupled with the expectation that I should be Wonder Woman and be able to cope on my own with anything and everything that life throws at me.

I am getting better at asking for help but that makes me feel worse not better. I am starting to come to terms with my limitations brought about by my constant fatigue and lack of mental and physical energy but this in itself is very depressing for me. Compromise, moderation and “second” have never been in the dictionary but they are highlighted in my latest version.

It is an especially difficult time for me at work at the moment. Not just because we are working up against set deadlines but because there is so much I would have done better had I known what to focus on. The trouble is, until I experienced this cycle I wouldn’t have known and therein lies the frustration.

Until I look at it in a more evidence-based way and realise that, overall it hasn’t been so bad. Yes, it could have been a lot better and I would have loved to have been at the top of my game but realistically, taking everything into consideration I got through and next year I have an amazing opportunity to show a dramatic improvement. I will know what is expected, I will change my ways (many of which are dictated by my illness but need to be challenged) and I will feel much more comfortable when I am back in control.

Easy to say, not so easy to carry out but I will. There is nothing to stop me and if I manage my illness properly, I will stay the course.

A very steep learning curve can be demoralising and depressing when you feel out of control but analysed in light of realistic evidence, it can be beneficial and help you develop both as a person and professional.

I need to accept my limitations and plan accordingly. Turn negativity into positivity and learn from my experience.

Isn’t this what life’s all about?

New Year, New Look

yesterday2013 wasn’t my best year but that’s now behind me and I’m ready to move forward. I already have a good feeling about 2014 with a number of events to look forward to in the diary.

Before I start as I mean to go on for the next 365 days or so I have decided to change my Blog-look for something a bit funkier and different to my previous theme. A change is as good as a rest so they say and the clean and fresh layout and colour scheme works well with my content. Who knows? I might change it more regularly in future to shake things up a bit but this suits me for now.

change

Looking forward month-by-month I’m sure that this time next year I will be thinking “What happened to 2014?” Already I have so much going on, so many people to see and places to go that I will need all my energy and stamina to get through these exciting times. Needless to say, rest and recuperation will also be high up the agenda as well as healthy eating and gentle exercise to build up my strength slowly but surely.

progress

To start at the beginning, January is a “write-off” as we will be busy, busy, busy preparing and filing UK personal tax returns before the 31 January deadline and before we know it February will be upon us. I celebrate my birthday in February and have already booked the day off to ensure I won’t break my lifetime habit of never working on my birthday. I haven’t done so far and I don’t intend to start now at the tender age of 51! It’s good to have something to look forward to in what many people consider the most depressing month of the year.

March heralds Spring with the Iranian New Year “Now Ruz” to enjoy and my niece’s Hen “Do” in London. I’m not sure what we are up to yet but a day and evening out in the capital promises to be fun. April will be a busy month with the Wedding of the Year when Pippa gets her man at last and this is closely followed by my son Will heading off to Iceland for a geography field trip of a lifetime-lucky boy. Geysers, thermal power stations, volcanoes and the blue lagoon all await and how I am looking forward to hearing all about it.

May is usually a lovely month with my garden getting into its stride and a couple of Bank Holidays to shorten the working weeks is always welcome.

June will be quite stressful I imagine with important A Level exams for Will who is hoping for some good grades to get him into his University of choice to study Geography and Natural Hazards. The course looks great and having been to an open day a couple of months ago I would gladly swap places with him!

The summer promises a fabulous holiday for me and Feri, details of which I will disclose as and when it is booked! It is a belated 50th birthday present for me and it will be well worth waiting for if we can book the holiday we want. Needless to say my camera won’t be far from my side with batteries fully charged!

Late summer brings the exam results and hopefully a place at University for my baby boy. I can’t believe that 18 years have disappeared so fast and that he will be leaving home but I know that he will enjoy the experience and the opportunities it will bring him. I am excited for him and I have my fingers crossed that his exams go well-he deserves it.

All this and I haven’t included the major sporting highlights. The Football World Cup in Brazil, the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, the Ryder cup at Gleneagles and the Winter Olympics in Russia.

There is also the 100 year anniversary of the start of WW1 to commemorate.

2013 has been challenging, disappointing, frustrating and tiring.

2014 will be inspiring, exciting, joyful and tiring!

Bring it on!

new year