Brain fog……

is so frustrating. One of my major symptoms of chronic fatigue/depression at the moment is brain fog. This has to be one of the most frustrating manifestations of my illness for me and it’s taking me a while to come to terms with it. Needless to say I won’t be applying for Mastermind or University Challenge any time soon.

Usually, I can recall information very quickly and at a drop of a hat. These days when asked a question, I realise that I know the answer and it is there “somewhere” but where and how long will it take to retrieve is unpredictable at the very least and bloody annoying every time. It could take hours for me to remember a name.

This must sound rather spoilt and insensitive to anyone who is struggling with far worse symptoms than mine, and I appreciate and understand that, but for me, my intellectual ability and agility has always taken precedent over financial success and monetary advantage so that if I am unable to function in accordance with my expectations, I have failed.

This is what I have to live with and moderate. Difficult as it is, I have to realise that if I can’t answer a question on University Challenge before one of the contestants, and have to search through my contacts to ascertain the name of the person I’m thinking of, then so be it. Grrr….I don’t like it and as the BUPA Dr told me 9 years ago ” you will have trouble growing old unless you moderate your expectations”……

Mmmmmm…I sort of get what she meant but I am not giving up just yet.

I have too much to give and too much to pass on to my successors to worry about slow performance. “

“It’s not how you start it’s how you finish” so the lyric goes and it’s absolutely right.

Keep going; keep challenging; keep on track; you will get there.

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6 thoughts on “Brain fog……

  1. Brain fog is horribly frustrating, not to mention a little unnerving. Sometimes it snowballs. I think part of the difficulty is the sense of loss of trust with myself. Hang in there.

  2. Brain fog is ‘soul destroying’ because it obliterates who we believe we are and we are faced with trying to find ourselves again. I fight it, sometimes all day every day and sometimes on and off throughout the day. The good parts of the day I relish and try to pack so much in – hastening the tiredness and return of the fog. Slow learner 🙂
    Just keep going. You never lose who you are, it’s just taking a siesta.
    Blessings
    Susan x

    • Thank you Susan, it is soul destroying as it’s hard to keep faith that I am not losing my marbles. fatigue is obviously the man cause and I have noticed that having a few days off work has helped. I need a 5-day weekend and a 2-day week! Thank you for your support. xx

  3. Brain Fog is the worst – it just turns you into a zombie. The fatigue stops you from doing things, but the fog stops YOU – from being smart, or funny, or picking up on social cues, or thinking of interesting things, or of holding up your end of a conversation.
    I love what Susan has written above – you’re in there somewhere!
    xx Claire

  4. Thanks Claire, I keep telling myself I will get through but it’s hard to keep the faith. Things are going much better for me at the moment so am trying to keep calm and keep my emotions under wraps so I don’t drain my energies with needless highs. I’m fighting against my personality all the time which is exhausting but has to be done. Again, thank you for your support, it means a lot. xx

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