BBC Radio 3 celebrated 100 years since the birth of French Author Albert Camus with a number of recorded short “Essays” about the philosophy of Existentialism and how it has impacted upon certain areas of our life from psychology talking treatments to drama and literature in the 20th and 21st century.

I remember studying Existentialism at school when doing my French ‘A’ level. Sartre (Les mains Salles) and Camus (L’Etranger) were both on the syllabus and I also supplemented my studies with reading some Simone de Beauvoir and other books written by the French existentialist authors.

What struck me at the time, and something which I have only just remembered by listening to the Radio 3 Podcasts, is that I “got” Existentialism. I identified with it and had many a heated debate about its general philosophy. Depressing, full of “angst”, despairing are all potential features of this school of thought.

That’s still me.

I still fear; I still despair; I am a “non-believer”; I take responsibility for my failings and hate myself for them; What is the point?

I still don’t know what the point is.

That may be the essence of my depression. Perhaps I need to talk to someone who specialises in this mind-set.

I’m on the case.