Yesterday was my first day back at work after 3 weeks away. I survived intact and was quietly chuffed with myself that I managed to get through the day unscathed with not a tear shed.
Today was Day 2 and not nearly as straight forward.
I think that I was a little tired after yesterdays efforts and it really hit me as we approached Birmingham station. I started to shake and felt quite nauseous and light-headed. I really didn’t want to go to work and convinced myself that as soon as we got to the station I would hop on the next train straight back home.
I walked up to the concourse, stood a while composing myself and eventually won the argument with my “other” half and decided that I would make it to the office if I could just manage to put one foot in front of the other. Autopilot switched on. Don’t think, just walk up the hill towards the cathedral and keep going.
I arrived at the office very shaky this time and was holding it together until one of my colleagues asked me if I was ok. That was the trigger which sent me scuttling into the ladies toilet not wanting to make a fool of myself by sobbing in front of everyone. Our office is quite new and I sat there for so long that the lights went off and I was sitting in the dark. Next came the cleaner knocking on the door and so I quickly gave up on the ladies and made a dash for Costa upstairs.
I sat in the canteen area with a cup of tea and then realised that no one knew where I was. I had disappeared rather rapidly, leaving my coat and handbag on my desk. Luckily, a colleague came past and I was able to ask him to tell my team where I was in case they were missing me.
With the help of a calm and very supportive Manager, it took just over an hour for me to calm down and return to my desk.
Better late than never.
Tomorrow, I’m working from home.
Well done. Really. Xxx
Thank you 🙂
I had a couple of these ‘false starts’ after the last time I needed to take some sick leave. Except they weren’t really false starts – they were just another step along to things getting better 🙂
What a very healthy and positive way of looking at it-thank you! 😀
Good for you for fighting through.
Thank you! It’s tough but needs must.
I have been there, reasoning and fighting with my own self, convincing myself to keep walking, one step at a time. I really felt how hard you were trying here. Good job, really. And so happy you found a supportive atmosphere there.
I don’t really know you, but I know these feelings all too well. Just found you while searching for other blogs that talk about depression. How wonderful that you have such a supportive manager 🙂 Sending you loving vibes…
Thank you-yes, I am very lucky and I do appreciate the support. Best wishes 😀
Love the picture of the teacup. Hurray for supportive manager. Step by step with one back makes a Samba. 🙂