This week has been a real struggle and my emotions have swung from a complete melt-down on Monday, when I truly thought I was heading for hospital in-patient treatment to a mini-high on Wednesday when I thought I’d cracked this latest episode of depression only to dip again yesterday. Depression can be a roller-coaster of a ride and I have certainly experienced the very lows and some mediocre highs over the last few days.
I have committed myself to going back to work on Monday. I am not 100% yet but I have to make the effort and start to get back into routine. It will be tough. Very tough, but fortune favours the brave and I am determined to challenge this illness as best I can and I need to be back with my friends and colleagues.
In the meantime, I have been trying very hard not to sleep during the day in preparation for the long days ahead. I have kept busy without exerting myself too much and although I feel exhausted, I know I must not give in to the fatigue without a fight. A regular sleeping pattern must be established if I am to return to work successfully so no midday naps allowed!
Instead, card making has taken priority today, and another design inspired from an article in Craft Stamper.
Butterflies and Bows.
Butterflies and Bows
Gorgeous.
Poppyposts 
I think that’s possibly one of the most frustrating things about depression: Some days you do feel better, so it follows you are better but you aren’t. Maddening. I have found that routines are absolutely essential. Of course, I always heard “Why can’t you be more spontaneous?” If it was only planned a week in advance instead of a month, this IS spontaneous. 🙂 Cheering for you! The Butterflies and Bows are precious.
I wish I could have two days the same and return to some sort of normality-whatever that entails. I am up and down like a yoyo; it’s exhausting and getting tedious in its resistance to all my efforts to improve. I am hoping that work will be a breeze in comparison but that’s perhaps a little optimistic.
Perhaps, but I think our optimism is an amazing gift considering our experiences. It is perhaps the difference between giving up and trying once more and once more…
Funny you should say that but my psychologist has always said that it is the fact that I never lose hope that keeps me going. I always manage somehow to retain the hope that things will get better. I’m not sure whether that’s experience or just how I am but it is clearly an advantage in fighting this illness but equally it is something I don’t understand or appreciate fully until someone points it out. Strange.