April is National Poetry month in the US and the great thing about the global Blogosphere is that we can all share in their celebration.
Regular readers here will already know that three years ago I went public about my depression. One of the results of that admission was a release of creativity which I had suppressed for almost 3 decades. As a child and young adolescent I was always very creative and artistic, but once depression struck, all my energies were focussed elsewhere and I had nothing left for creativity. It was buried deep and long.
My first creative release came through writing. I couldn’t stop writing. I took a notebook everywhere and wrote lots of poems mostly in Haiku format. Haiku is great for me as it combines expression with use of language and vocabulary with a structure.
One of my first efforts was to describe my take on depression.
In celebration of National Poetry month, here it is again.
Wings clipped, feathers oiled
Aborted daily take-offs
Wading in treacle
Lacklustre. Can’t breathe.
Endless lists, tasks for the day
Fatigue, every effort blanked
Rainbow long faded
Black and white and shades of grey
Blue ice pumps through veins
This polar cap never melts
Deflated, let down
Weighted to the ground; handcuffed
Every bubble bursts
No winner’s medals
Struggle to the starting line
Not at the races
Dries up. Flourishes; small steps
Something from nothing
Stricken senseless. Alien
Crushed by fate. Friendless
First hurdle faller
The conspiracy of life
Odds on a loser
Break down, break up, no breakthrough
Corralled, reined in, trapped
Crescendo of emotion
Threatens to burst forth
Regrets, lost chances
Tears of disappointment well
Lost soul, futile search.
That’s what it feels like to me.
Reblogged this on poetreecreations.org and commented:
Thank you 🙂 Much appreciated
You describe it very well. I am glad you poetry is released from depressions lock down.
Thanks 🙂 I wrote that in less than 10 minutes on the train. I can still remember when and where. It literally poured out of me and I made no amendments to the original. It is as it always was. Original and heartfelt. I don’t think I could write it again.
excellent description, actually gave me shivers recalling those feelings in myself.
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