Everyone has choices.

However, the ability to see choices rather than traps is very much dependent upon your state of mind and mood.  I know from personal experience that when self-esteem and confidence are at their lowest ebb events take on a sinister inevitability and I feel trapped and claustrophobic unable to manufacture the changes which would bring about an uplift in mood and fortune. It often feels like there is only one choice, Hobson’s Choice,  very restrictive and unrewarding. This is perhaps ok when buying a car…..”any colour as long as it’s black” (Henry Ford) but faced with life’s choices it is demoralising and depressing.

At no point should major life-changing decisions be made when feeling below par but you can and should take comfort from the belief that your choices will still be there waiting for you when you feel stronger and have more energy to tackle the underlying issues with confidence.

Frustrating as it is, you will need to be forgiving of yourself during dark times and a lowering of personal expectations will help to put things into perspective and recover your mood more quickly than if you remain stubbornly self-critical. The choice is yours-be kind to yourself. Trust in those friends, family and colleagues who are supportive of your fears and anxieties and beware of those that don’t.

When faced with difficult choices, I also know that it is all to easy to hide behind your low mood, taking refuge in the hope that problems will miraculously disappear. They rarely do and denying that choices exist and avoiding the issue will only add to the negative downward spiral into disappointment and a self-fulfilling perception that you are a weak and ineffective person. It is not true. You probably just need time to recover your equilibrium. Try not to deny that you have choices but instead acknowledge that choices are there but now is not the time to make important decisions. This is a positive action and will help restore confidence as you start to regain control.

Chose to believe. Chose your friends and most importantly, chose to love yourself.


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