the clouds are lifting!

After months of swirling around in a fog of apathy, distraction, despair and mental fatigue, last weekend saw a lift in mood which was as surprising as it was welcome. The problem with depression is that sometimes you have to keep the faith, sit tight and wait for things to improve. They usually do, and the more times it happens, the more faith I have that if I wait long enough I will emerge from the doldrums. Of course there are things that I do to help myself along the way but I know that until I’m ready for recovery it can be like flogging a dead horse.

For the fifth day in a row I feel better. More positive, chatty, energised and a lot more focussed. This is a wonderful transformation as it enables me to do what I need to do and that is work effectively. There is nothing worse than under-performing according to your own expectations but concentration has been somewhat lacking. I have this week, actually started and finished reading a book. Not a huge task you may think but as an avid reader, not having the necessary concentration and will to finish what you have started is frustrating to say the least. But it seems that I am back on track and can start reading all those books I have bought in hope over the last few months.

I’m not saying that I have recovered but the process has started and being kind to myself is still very much on the agenda. It doesn’t come naturally to me but perhaps as I get older and wiser I will actually put into practice what I fervently preach to others.