Angels in disguise, I’m tired of fighting

Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing.
There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny.
And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.

Octavia Butler

I’m tired of fighting but I can’t give up now I’ve got this far. In my current mood I’d like to do just that but to give in is to let a lot of people down and is not an option I care to live with long-term. I am trying so hard to put things right and adapt my lifestyle to alleviate some of the physical, emotional and mental pressures but it feels like I’m treading water just to stay afloat let alone make any progress. At times like this I am more than grateful for my friends who keep me on the straight and narrow. Like many who experience unexplained dips in mood I can say the most alarming and incoherent things out of despair and desperation which can hurt and concern those closest to me. It also must try their patience and for this I apologise.

I do not send out SOS messages often, and certainly don’t cry wolf. I try to deal with changes in my mood sensibly and rationally but sometimes I see no reason for the swift change so a little support from those who understand is so welcome.

When feeling like this I instinctively gravitate towards my “tribe” where I retreat into safe territory talking and relating to people who understand how I feel and who know that they can challenge my thinking and state of mind legitimately without fear of recriminations.

I don’t believe in Angels but it’s amazing how often friends appear out of the blue as if they sense a need for their help and guidance. They must be my “Angels In Disguise” but how they manage to hide their halos is beyond my understanding. I have somehow acquired a team of Angels In Disguise which does a fabulous job of picking me up, dusting me off and pointing me back in the right direction. As far as I am aware they all independently but strangely act as a team so that I’m not inundated with offers of support one minute and left to stew the next.Weird. I’m not sure how this has happened but I’m glad it has.

I only hope that I can be someone’s Angel In Disguise too.


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