I really should have given up reading the newspapers for 2011. I’m much happier with just not knowing. But as an information junkie who reads at least 2 newspapers every day that would be a step too far. So when hubby brings in today’s Daily Mail I can’t resist a peek, and a quick skim through brings me to an article which scares me to my bones and causes an immediate rise in blood pressure. A sure sign of stress. The offending article is on pages 58 & 59 and is called “Little slips (and big pants) that show you’re getting old”. From the title (especially reference to big pants) I should have known not to continue reading but I did and here’s what ruined my day. I hope my sister reads this because she’s in this tribe too.
You know you’re getting old when;
You are jumping up and down as the postman arrives shouting “Oh fantastic. My Lakeland order has arrived”. My brother-in-law constantly ridicules “Crapland” and it’s attraction for the Harlow sisters but unfortunately our relationship with this company was sealed by our mother a long time back-God Bless her. When she died I seem to recall that we were ready to do battle over the mini-blender, lemon zester and julienne peeler! Sod the cash in the bank-it was the over-door hangers that I wanted.
Other signs that indicate for sure that you are on the downward slope include wearing big pants (not thongs), taking your slippers and umbrella everywhere (not a problem for me) BUT packing a first aid kit whenever you set foot out of the door. Now that I can relate to and as recently as last week on our annual village walk the first thing I packed, after the chocolate of course, was the First Aid Kit! and it gets worse.
“That man shouldn’t be on the road!”- heard in our house just this week when hubby manages to collect a speeding ticket.
“I can’t believe it when I look in the mirror”- I’d better believe it and soon if I’m going to stop the rot.
“I don’t want to go anywhere with nightlife” In which case I’ve always been old and finally;
“I wonder what the weather will be like today?”..my first task as I get out of bed in the morning is to open the curtain to see what today’s weather will bring and whether I need my thermal vest and sensible shoes.
Oh dear. I’m turning into my mother. Now I’m not just stressed, I’m depressed!
The crazy thing about this western society
Is that people have a negative attattchment to the term old
Wheras most seem to cherish youth
I reject the apparent youth of my physical body
And instead focus on the reality
And fact that my true age is not limited
To a withering, degenerate, mechanical machine
Although like a computer, highly functional,
Necessary, for certain things and enjoyable
No where near as important
As the information
Which in this case (are these words)
In the example of a body
Would be ‘the real you’
And you get to download
The software into
A new upgraded model
When you finished using the old one
Doesn’t sound bad to me
That should be reason to celebrate!!!