Everyone should have a best friend. Someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway. Best friends are loyal and care for each other. They listen but do not judge, they spend time together totally comfortable in mutual respect. They challenge each other but never expect too much in return and most importantly they accept you for who you are. All this takes time and effort but your best friend will be one of the most treasured people in your life. Best friends can be hard to come by so, once found, look after them.
All this sounds reasonable when life is good.
Depression however can not only rob you of your friends, but it can also turn you into your own worst enemy. You have to start learning to be your own best friend and this can be difficult. So how do you become your own best buddy and learn to love and accept yourself again?
I am somewhat of a perfectionist so when I fail to live up to my expectations I can be harshly self-critical and fall victim to low mood as a result. Do I speak to my friends in the same way that I speak to myself? No I wouldn’t dare so my first suggestion is to stop telling yourself off and be more understanding. Don’t set the bar too high and don’t judge yourself on your “failures”. You can only do your best on any given day and that should be enough.
Secondly, start to accept yourself for who you are, what you look like and what you believe in. You cannot please everyone all the time and you shouldn’t try to do so by pretending to be someone you are not. Pretence can be exhausting and no one likes to live a lie. You are you and you should be proud of your uniqueness and individuality-revel in it.
Finally, spend some time with yourself. Find out who you are and what you enjoy and be comfortable in your own company.
You might find that you like yourself after all.
I spent a lot of time finding out who I was…… on the basis that if I truly knew then I would be a better friend to others….
This mean’t being open and honest with myself….. things I am good at, things I am rubbish at…… strengths and weaknesses in other words….
Like you I am hard on myself and have to be reminded as I will remind you, we achieve more than most….. and cope with illness…..
If you can face yourself you can face the world.
One thing for sure, its a better world with you x