Another whirlwind month passes and looking back at how much has happened in just a few weeks, I am determined to make December a more sedate, calm affair. It seems such a long time ago now, but I started this Blog on 1 November whilst off work having suffered a relapse and unable to cope with life outside my front door. I’m lucky. I know what my triggers are although sometimes I still do too much and end up in an exhausted pathetic heap of uselessness. I also know that absolute rest in addition to my normal coping strategies and medication is the only cure. I am now back at work and employing all the tactics learned from years of CBT to ” Stay Calm and Keep Going”.
Starting my very own Blog has been a fantastic way for me to keep myself mentally occupied whilst resting. I only wish that I had done it sooner. After thirty years of hiding my depression it seems that opening up has released my creative genes and I am now catching up on three decades of ideas, poems, thoughts and opinions which were clearly surpressed whilst living my lie. The dam has been well and truly unplugged and I am going through an intense and sometimes tiring period of reading, writing, composing and trying to get everything down in print before it’s forgotten or worse still, flies away unrecorded.
Although the month didn’t start well, it gradually improved and I am now where I would like to be. In control, at peace and enjoying life again. I like to get involved in projects when I can spare the energy and this month was no exception. I have registered for the Aspire Heroine’s Quest- my campaign for 2011 is to “eradicate the stigma attached to mental illness and depression by “talking openly and honestly” about my experiences because “everyone deserves a chance”. I have also joined Rethink as an active campaigner which will give me some professional support and structure to my activities. Be warned though, I will be looking for your support, as everyone can do something to help me in my challenge.
Pudsey and Blush made a great effort raising funds for Children In Need; Dream Alliance didn’t win the Hennessy Gold Cup at Newbury but I will be cheering him as he defends his title at the Welsh Grand National in December. I read a great book, “Hurry Down Sunshine” about a teenager’s descent into psychosis as written by her father which I wholeheartedly recommend. We had our first snowfall of the winter, causing mayhem yet again and I feel that I must mention the Royal engagement. By far the most rewarding experience in November however has been finding new friends and members of my “tribe”. Nicolas, a fellow sufferer well on the road to recovery, Blogger and cycling demon; Emma, with her own business leaderwithin,is one of the most interesting and friendly people I have met in a long time and I must not forget Kevin, another fellow depressioneer, Sheffield Wednesday fan and budding photographer.
“From little acorns big oaks grow” so onwards and upwards to finish 2010 on a high. My targets for December? The Greenwich Park Santa Fun Run next Sunday. So far I have raised over £1,000 for Depression Alliance. My biggest challenge? To survive Christmas mentally and emotionally intact.
That will be a first!
Crikey, Caroline! That was quite a month for you – for us both – Welcome aboard the activist train. I am touched by the name check.:-)
Thanks Nicolas-I have to work really hard at keeping things in check otherwise I suffer from “burn-out” big time.I can never understand why I can’t do everything without suffering a relapse I find it so frustrating. It’s good to hear your news as well, definitely on the way up…2011 could be a good year for us both. Watch out everyone we’re on the move!
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Hi-Thankyou for your kind comments. I use WordPress, Elegant Grunge as my theme if that helps?