Depression is a frustrating illness. I should have worked that out by now. So why is it that I still ignore the warning signs and carry on regardless only to wonder why I plunge into the dreaded black hole of despair and despondency, unable to communicate with friends and family, moulded to my bed, tearful and fearful that the miserable ever-tightening shroud will not lift this time?
It seems that I may lack emotional intelligence (EI). I have come to the conclusion that I must have been at the very back of that particular queue and as a result, in very simplistic terms, I desperately need to learn to “practice what I preach” a bit more and look after myself.
As a new-comer to the topic I will start the ball rolling with Daniel Goleman, reading his book “Emotional Intelligence”. This should at least give me an idea of whether “the cap fits” .
In the meantime, I will be applying a more basic common-sense approach to my post-depression episode recovery. Without putting too much pressure on myself, the mantra which I find most difficult to adhere to, I will be taking steps to recover from this recent set-back and put some extra-strong fortifications in place to help prevent relapses in future.
Starting here, starting now.
So, I will be eating healthier, drinking more water, excercising a little more and making time-out for me. It all sounds so simple doesn’t it. But when you wake up in the morning and have to do battle with yourself just to get the shower turned on, everything is hard work. Believe me it’s no fun staring at the taps willing yourself to do the sensible thing and turn them on whilst all the time you just want to crawl back under the bedclothes. But sometimes you have to knuckle down, ask for help and support and dig yourself up and out.
Which is exactly what I will be doing from tomorrow; Turning negatives into positives; Living in the moment; Being arsed; Focussing on what’s important; Putting aside some “me” time every day; Saying “no” more often; Appreciating what and who are good in my life;
Easy? Not at all.
Worth it? I hope so.